Think before you post!

Humiliation, shame, and embarrassment are feelings that some parents with special needs children lose their fear of very fast. We eventually discover that as long as what we are doing is in the best interest of our children, and family, we don't have to feel ashamed and beat ourselves up over things like we used to before. For example we learn to ask for help when we need it and even though it's still hard to admit we need help, and it is still embarrassing to put yourself out there and admit we can't do what parents are supposed to be able to do, we do it and the shame quickly fades because we know our children come first and that is where we put them. We put our pride in our pockets, moved ourselves out of our comfort zone, and did what our children needed us to do.

The last thing we need is someone else with a special child coming along and bragging how they don't need help, don't ask for help, and therefor others shouldn't either and they feel bad for the children of those parents because they are "using them". Even worse is when they continuously make these comments and when called out backpedal claiming that is not what they said, not what they meant, and change their position and story. Why? Because no one bothers reading their backpedaling or their apologies and even if they do the damage is already done. Think about your own behaviors when you read blogs or facebook posts, unless it's someone you know, or something that really peaks your interest the likelihood of going back to that post and reading others comments are slim, especially if you didn't comment on it yourself. Even if you happen to go back to it and read the backpedaling, even if you come to the conclusion that that person is a fraud or unjustly targeting people that initial post left a mark in your mind that wont soon be forgotten. Not when the person compares parents of sick children to scammers and puts them on the same level with them if they ask for help.

Think back to high school, or work, or the last time you were told something about a new person, stranger, or even a friend even if it's later proved to be false their name will still be associated with it. I can still remember my best friend in grade school being called a thief and the stories told behind her back, even though I knew they were not true (they were even proven to be false) I still thought about her if something of mine went missing. Even fifteen years later when a ring disappeared from our house after she visited my thoughts went to her even though she was not the only person in our house. Why? Because her name was associated theft, whether she was guilty or not, and that caused flags to shoot up as soon as I noticed the ring was missing. She was not guilty, the ring had been knocked onto the floor, the area rug it was on was picked up and taken outside to be shaken off, thankfully it fell on our porch and was found months later when we went to move hidden behind a flower pot.

The words spoken years earlier did their damage and ruined the reputation of someone who was guilty of nothing, the same thing can and will happen over posts like this. People will associate scammers and parents of special children who ask for help with eachother, people wont be as open to the idea of helping and even if they do help the level of support they would have provided wont nearly be as high.

Speaking of the level of support, I would like to remind people that actions speak louder than words, even louder than prayers. I will not stop you or ask you to stop praying for someone or something but lets be realistic about it, praying for a starving child does not give them the food they need, praying for a family whose house burnt to the gound doesn't replace their belongings, praying for more blood during a blood shortage does not make more blood. Donate to a food bank, volunteer or donate to a shelter or hospital, roll up your sleeve and actually donate blood and if you can't provide information to people who can, especially ones who don't already, and help increase the supply. I may not be completely certain about this but I highly doubt your God said "Do nothing for others, do not lend a hand, do not provide support, do not lift a finger at all. Only pray to me and ask me to do everything for you and them." I'm betting he'd be happy to see people actually do things for each other instead of always asking and expect him to do it instead.


Remember everyone.

1. Think before you speak.

2. Do not bash family who have built up the strength and courage to ask for help just because you don't need it. If you do don't be surprised if you get the same response from others when you need help.

3. Get off your butt and do something for yourself and others, don't expect someone else (eg. God) to do everything for you.

4. Do not ask parents why prayers aren't enough. For one not everyone is religious and two if someone has a dilemma that needs to be dealt with ASAP it is likely that they require someone to act to help them not just prayers. For instance a person's child is airlifted a few hundred miles away and they don't have any gas in their car to get there, they don't need just a prayer they actually need gas, they need someone kind enough who can provide it for them. If you can not be the person to help do not be the person who hinders by berating the parents and scaring off people who were willing to help them.

5. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all!

6. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all!

7. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all! Hopefully by saying it three times some people will get the point. Just because you can hide behind a computer and say anything you want doesn't mean you should. Don't be an ass.